There were days when I felt completely numb or I felt very little. I didn’t feel pain and I didn’t feel joy. During -what seemed- a very long time in limbo, I couldn’t understand what was happening to me, I just felt empty. If you have experienced this, please keep reading. My hope is that you may find in my experience and the lessons that followed healing, empowerment and inspiration to dive deeper within you at the source of your being, to meet your true self, Spirit.
During those times, when everything seemed so weird and my life felt stuck in an empty space, I did not realise the power of the healing I was receiving. It was very subtle, almost imperceptible but extremely strong. As healers, we often think that when we move through a healing journey, we must experience intense emotions, a powerful transformation, deep dark moments and ecstatic feelings, all the time! I am not saying it doesn’t happen, in fact I know by experience it happens…. just not every day. For some of us, healing may work in a different way.
About 20 years ago, when I consciously started my spiritual journey, I liked listening to other people talking about their spiritual experiences. Although I felt Joyful when hearing their beautiful stories of healing and awakening, I experienced deep sadness too. I was comparing myself and my journey to others and in doing so I failed to experience my own healing and awakening. I had ecstatic moments, and deep dark nights but most of the times my healing was so deep and so powerful that paradoxically on the surface of my being, I experienced very little. I thought there was something wrong with me and that I couldn’t feel, heal or connect, like others were describing and doing.
Then one day, I looked back at my life and everything changed. I have been going through a huge transformation, a deep healing process and truth to be told, I was lucky to have experienced it my way. The energy of healing and transformation has been moving through me, from deep within me in an almost imperceptible way. I didn’t always hear angelic choirs or see bright lights. I kept moving within in the ways I felt guided to do. Through ups and downs, wrong turns and lessons, I eventually understood that the road that leads me to my healing and awakening runs very deep inside of me. It is not a path I walk outside of myself, it is a journey I live from within. I understood that my path is the sum of all experiences that life has offered me, with the people I interact with, the choices I make everyday and all that challenges me to expand and surrender to the infinite, all encompassing Wisdom of Goddess. I am the path!
Most of the times, when I communicate with Goddess or God (however you see it), I don’t have out of body experiences, I am not taken to a distant galaxy… I am simply here, in the now, listening with my womb, heart and mind. My communication with the Divine happens inside of me, in very simple straightforward ways. It also happens when I observe nature and when I truly listen. The day that I surrendered and opened to that way of communing with Spirit, wasn’t a specific day, but it was a lifetime of experiences, lessons, and surrendering moments… that eventually urged me to look back and see how much transformation I have been bringing forth, since the day I was born.
There is no right or wrong on the path of self-discovery and awakening, there aren’t any strict rules or models to follow. Above all, please do not have expectations and do not compare your experiences to others. During this exploration of my being, towards the ultimate goal of Goddess(God) Realization, I discovered what I needed to commit to this work, to my path: A profound, visceral, and incorruptible need to meet the Divine inside of me and all around me and the indestructible willingness to truly know myself.
We are all experiencing this life on earth in different ways, we need to embrace that. What works for me, doesn’t necessarily works for you and vice versa. The healing journey can make us experience ecstasy, see bright lights, hear angelic voices, move through extreme pain and surrender but it is often a more simple and straightforward experience. Whatever the experience is, embrace who you are and you’ll embrace your path.
Love everything about yourself because this is your journey and your journey is you.
Many Blessings on your journeys, wherever it leads you (within and without).
© Michela Sborchia ALL RIGHTS RESERVED