When I help every living being, I help myself. When heal myself, I heal every living being. -Michela-
This letter is the story of my life and probably it is yours too. It is not an essay on how to live and I am not here to preach. I am simply sharing in Love and in Joy my journey with you. These are my experiences and all that I am facing on my spiritual journey. I don’t pretend to have all the answers and I probably know nothing, but it is in this nothingness that everything dwells and from this nothingness this is my truth.
You may find this helpful or you may find this useless, I don’t write with expectations but with Love.
The Katha Upanishad states that “The Path to God-realization is very difficult like walking on the edge of a sharp razor…”. Now, setting aside the drama that the mind creates by reading these words, my understanding is that on the spiritual path we are faced with many challenges both internal and external, until the moment that we realize there is no separation from the world within with the world without. It is the illusion of duality and all that duality creates that separate us. The blade can cut us in two halves or it can cut us in millions of pieces until there is nothing left of us but our essence.
One day, I was looking at a bird sitting on a branch. He stood still for a while then he flew away. I moved my gaze down at the plants on my balcony. They blossom in spring and in summer, and they sleep through the winter. My cat plays and then he stops to wash himself. He stands still for a moment and he goes in the meditation position with his paws tuck under his stomach. For them life simply is. They do not question “oh why me??”, they simply are. And so, one day in the depth of my dark night of the soul I asked that question and the only reply I received back was “Why not you”? That straight forward answer reverberated like an earthquake through my soul and in my ego and self-absorbed stories. I thought I was so special that I should be immune from darkness and fear. I stopped complaining and moved through that darkness, I faced my fears and I set myself free.
It’s being about two years since I decided to spend less time on social media. I took that decision because I felt deeply hurt and my energy was total chaos. I wanted to spend more time journeying within, mainly to heal and to truly know myself. On my spiritual journey I met many people from all around the world, I connected with many beautiful souls. During my travels, workshops and healings I have enriched my soul, nourished my spirit, healed my body and grounded my roots. Then one day, I felt overwhelmed, I was bombarded by too many different energies, contradictory messages and I couldn’t feel myself anymore. That day I decided to leave social media for a while and look after myself. At the time, I deeply felt that it was the right decision. I kept working -in secret, if you will- with my clients but I didn’t share anything publicly of how my life and my work were evolving. Although that time away from public eyes felt like bliss, in August 2018 I met the holy scimitar of Goddess Kali that unmercifully cut my false self, my ego in millions of pieces. I asked to journey to the depths of my being, to heal and truly know myself. Little did I know! Finally, after the endless healings, meditations, ceremonies and travels I was put face to face with myself and in that space of nothingness, I finally saw. I asked myself the hard questions, and I wasn’t allowed to leave any stone unturned. For about a week I felt extremely uncomfortable, to say the least. I was crucified and every time my ego would tell me to run or hide with many excuses, I stayed. In my head, I heard it all: “this doesn’t resonate”, “I don’t feel it’s for me”, “I don’t like it and it’s getting on my nerves”, “it’s useless and stupid”, “I already did the work” so on and so forth. I knew then that through all these feelings and vibrations of energies there are so many layers of life experiences, traumas, ideas and basically an entire life. I rarely journeyed through these layers out of my comfort zone, even if I thought I was doing it, because for the first time in my life I got to see through all these layers and all my excuses and I finally did it. And if you are thinking you did the work or you are doing it and this doesn’t resonate, I invite you to dive deep into that idea or feeling because journey within means to go beyond that too.
I spent years of my life in the resting area of my comfort zone, of the “I know what is good for me”, “this doesn’t resonate”, “I don’t have enough money” or “I don’t think so”. I spent my life going from one opinion to another about myself and the rest of the world. But when crunch time arrived I had two choices: move deeper or stop. I jumped into the abyss and never looked back! The journey is ongoing, it didn’t stop when I jumped, it simply started. Everyday I get to ask myself the hard questions, move deeper and deeper inside without disconnecting with the world outside of me.
You see, there is no separation between you and me. We are One and the same. We just look physically different in this human body. We may move through different life experiences but we are One. The idea that I am going to remove myself from the world to heal and know myself is a concept that doesn’t make sense to me anymore. Every time a human being acts, thinks or speaks the energy that comes from actions, thoughts or words has a deep impact on every living being on the Earth. We are never separated, and we are connected, always.
It is through relationships, connections and Love that we heal and discover ourselves more and more each day. I discovered that, it is not by removing myself from people’s lives or hiding from uncomfortable situations that helps me. The opposite works for me. Now, I ask myself the hard questions: “why am I running away? What is the excuse this time? What am I getting out of doing this?…….” I started to create deeper relationships, to connect with more people and be open about my life and what I do. And if you know me already, you know how uncomfortable that made me feel. But please know, that I am not talking about sharing “my exciting and beautiful life” on social media. My life is life, with all his ups and down and all that being a Divine Human entails. My life is not perfect, it simply is. I don’t spend much time on social media because among a part time job, my healing practice, my personal healing, family, friends and what life brings me I simply don’t have the time. The time that I have I use it to connect with people on a deeper level by talking face to face, over the phone or by spending few days together.
Yes, I have a part job that pays my bills and I work very hard on sharing my knowledge and wisdom with the world. I do Womb Healings and Oracle readings few days a week. I’ve so much to share and I know I’m a powerful healer, because I am committed to this work, whatever it takes. Sometimes the spiritual journey is not enough to keep a roof over our family, but this is life for now and I am not complaining about it. I simply work hard towards being able to do my healing work only, and on the way there, I would love to truly and deeply connect with people around me. I want to share my life with the people I love, I want to listen to them just because I am present for them. I don’t want to listen with the intention of replying. I simply want to sit with someone, look them in the eyes, be present for them, be open to them, and listen. When I look back at my life (without regrets as it was a path of self-discovery and growth) I can now see how many issues I could have solved by simply listening, truly listening to those around me.
I keep studying and doing my inner work daily, because going through such an intense journey, made me realize how important my integrity is. And now, when I commit to something, I commit! I don’t give my word if I can’t fulfil what I am promising, and I always do my best. The difference between living a life and living an extraordinary one, is in the connection with people around me, in the integrity of my own word and in the Love I share with every living being.
Thank you for taking the time to read my letter.
Many Blessings on your Journey
© Michela Sborchia ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
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