….I woke up in the middle of the night. I couldn’t sleep, I tossed and turned and sighed. It was about 3:00 am. I used to get annoyed by this interruption of sleep, until I learned to surrender to the fact that it was not going to stop and I had to make the most of it.
That night was a very intense one. While I was lying down in my bed thinking that I should sit in meditation, a beautiful feeling overtook my body and my mind. After the restlessness, I felt at Peace. I looked at my beloved sleeping beside me, and my heart and womb started to respond to this energy that had enveloped me completely. It felt like a dance, where two energy were moving closer and further apart and closer again. I sensed love and understanding awaking in my heart.
I started to feel an ancient energy arising from within. It felt like an energy I once knew well but that I had long forgotten. I was not sure what it meant but I knew I didn’t have a choice but to surrender. In that surrendering moment I felt a profound Love for the Divine Masculine. I felt this powerful energy flowing through me and all around me. I felt it in my Beloved. I was in awe of His Divinity, Strength, Courage, Passion, Power, Wisdom and Love.
My journey with the Divine Masculine wasn’t an easy one. I deeply mistrusted this energy, I felt completely disconnected from it and I had a massive resistance when trying to reconnect to Him. The Father energy was a raw and painful place to be. But my life has been an amazing journey of healing, redemption and forgiveness. Thanks to the Great Merciful Mother and through her Wisdom, Compassion and Love, I started to heal that part of me that felt hatred towards the Masculine Energy. One day, She started to call me from many different places. I went to India, England, France and Italy. I walked on these sacred lands, and I went without hesitation, with a bit of fear and no expectations. At the time, I simply thought that I was doing this to awaken the Goddess within me, to reconnect with Her. Little did I know!
The Great Goddess Mother had other plans for me, and with Her help I have worked through deep feelings and wounds of hatred, betrayal and fear. I had to do that to bring balance to my energies, to heal the masculine within me, so that I could love the masculine around me.
And that night when I “Woke Up” I felt I had finally stepped onto the healing path. I was ready to reconnect with the Divine Masculine in me, to love and trust Him again.
© Michela Sborchia ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
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